Before/After the Deluge and Writing Energy

Why the deluge image? I've got "Before the Deluge" on YouTube (Anyone call it YT yet?), and it's a live version/Jackson Browne. I used to give it a go on steel string guitar a few years ago say, and laid off for some years w/ the guitar, and at least relatively. Picked it back up and once again. I was doing a homecoming scene, looking at what I felt during the song. A deluge was to me beyond a physical construct. It was a conflict, an abject struggle to be free from the responsive emotion like a second coming, a loss of grand magnitude. It was a loss, it had a sense of nature, a flood of any synergestic equivalent (At the time a climbing area had been severly flooded, and lamb were strewn on the banks, a tragedy, ugly.) What is the answer? Make something, create something, bounce back.

The song pulled out emotions. Who and where were I? Before/after the deluge? The worst was behind us. A drought of writing growing more painful everyday? It can indeed seem like a form of insanity, obsessions sink in, compulsive behavior, focuses divergent from make art, writing, expressing ourselves in a narrow and humanistic path. (All of this stuff are suggestions, not advice. Take what you want; leave the rest.) The deluge? I wanted felt a need to succeed, id est survive, then thrive, return as in denial that nothing changed. Sometimes it helps to see the creative process that is flux while the Higher Power is a constant, like the Northern Star. (Joni Mitchell, " ... Constantly in the darkness. How is that? ... ")

"Angry" in the song, later, love earlier in the tone of the voice, the tongue, bitter and sweet. And what about feeling the survival instinct in the midst of perils, the event, the deluge. Pull out the thriving mode, keep climbing. Write through it all. Return to the processor/the coffee/feeling, growing into being home. You get back to writing and the healing process begins. You heal, a little more w/ each word, phrase, paragraph, chapter, ... .

Like Camus said, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger. You paid the price, the gran prix and came out stronger. Faith and laws, laws and faith come into play, written/unwritten laws, at the end of the day some progress. The warmths of the words, the afterglow of living after the deluge, safe and stronger, an environment now to heal the writer w/in. "Inch by inch a cince, yard by yard/hard." A friend reminds me. I want 12 hrs once a week and three hours a day the rest of the time. A time was made for human beings to study ... and rest on the page.

The song had come into the focal part of a writer's mind. War before is a better place to be than after the war (Read deluge.") I've lived/demonstrated the Vietnam Conflict, through Gulf War, other Middle East conflicts (A contract for programming for a company involved w/ the Gulf War, friends from grad school, a friend of the family from Turkey, my recving from him an application for the Bogzaci University derivative of Brown University. I was seeing patterns factual but easily taken as delusionally, id est, that every time I go back to school a Middle East war ends. I stop and war begins there. Really strange and strongly coincidental. Chains and fringed shirts and '69 off to the civil war, Hippies, anticountercounter culture sums it up. Anger to listen to, not act on, energy resorted and channel to a resonating social solution. Deluges in my mind. Police brutalities following, mine/others, not alone. A battle w/ addictions and now many years successful. After the deluge.

Addictions are amongst many writers. It does not need to be to write. It was when the writing had ceased, then that was when sickness slithered in. As w/ addictions, writing can be like other processes; another of the various faces that addictions take on, the facade. Illness however it is romanticized is not what anyone really wishes for the most part. Stay hungry, hungry for developing your talent(s). The addict uses the phrase "a no talent." That is an addict's compulsive lie, denial, bred from hiding his /her addiction. YOU ARE "DEVELOPING YOUR TALENT." GOT IT? YES!!!

Psychology now concludes that events happen, thoughts occur, stored away are connections/responses being thoughts and yes, finally emotions. Exercise, open problems left to the reader/student. Thank you for now 24/7, bye, Todd.